musical girl

i miss the days when i was so into music,
that i had no other identity.
[other than a Follower, and college student]

days when i would spend every extra dollar i had
on concert tickets.
and on any given friday or saturday night,
i was most likely found in that horrible part
of dallas named deep ellum.
eating pizza at the pizza place
that i can never remember the name of
and getting ready for "the best concert ever!"

i was a rather silly girl then.
however, i miss those musical days.
i think i will once again awaken that love.

radio girl

last night i was driving home from an event
and i had the radio on
and one of my favorite songs started playing.
actually, it's really not one of my favorites...
just a song that i like.

but all of the sudden i was so ridiculously joyous.
i screamed "YES!" when i heard it's first notes
and i found myself singing all of the words
probably at my loudest tone possible.

isn't it funny how music controls us like that?
a good song has the power to change a mood.
i wasn't even in a bad mood, though.
just driving home.
indifferent.
and then extremely happy.

winter girl

today i opened the door and it felt like Spring.
and i thought, "but i'm not done with Winter"
i am unsure of what to think.

even the morning smells reminded me
of what usually is my favorite season.
at least here in texas.

i guess i'm still stuck on Sister Winter.
but i don't think my heart is as cold as ice.
[oh sufjan]

girl.

i have not been writing very much lately.
i feel as though i've put too much pressure on myself
to produce, produce, produce,
that i haven't been concerned about the quality.
this is not ok.

so lately i've been remembering a time,
when i wrote often
and i've been listening to that song again
that i listened to over and over during that time.

this part of the song is what i feel:

heal my heart and make it clean.
open up my eyes to the things unseen.
show me how to love like you have loved me.
break my heart for what breaks yours.
everything i am for your kingdom's cause.
as i walk from earth into eternity.

[i hope i live this and i hope that is my heart.]

ironic girl

i just experienced an ironic situation in my life.
and it was good.
it was the kind of irony that is redemptive
[if that makes any sense at all]
and the kind that makes you laugh hysterically.

i think this whole thing
was orchestrated [by someone],
just to make me laugh.
and feel good about that situation
for once.

to finally laugh about that.
to not just feel ok with it,
but to truly laugh it off.

well...to quote alanis,
isn't it ironic?
don't you think?

quiet girl

so having mono is forcing me to shut my mouth
and listen to the Lord.

i think this is His funny way of telling me
to rest.

december was a month for the ages.
and now i must rest.
i must re-ground myself.
i must recharge.
i'm forced to return to Him.
which is what i should have been doing
all along.

it is good to have rest in Him.
it's like no other rest
i could ever achieve on my own.

new year girl

happy new year, folks!
2008 is going to be a year of great things.

let's kick it off with a case of mono!!