the loner vs. the butterfly

one side of me tends to be a loner.
quite often, actually.
this is unusual for me.
[if you've known me for more than
five minutes,
you know that i am drawn to people]

while that is very much true,
there is still a side of me that aches
if i don't get my alone time.

my current situation in life
does not allow for much time to myself.
and i have experienced the consequences.
yet i have this internal struggle
because i truly love people.
i love their stories and their voices
and the light that they bring.

i will have to settle for the time being
with the thought that i am split in two.

the loner vs. the butterfly

2K9

well, it is 2009.
and i am glad.

2008 started off with a case of mono,
followed by a series of events
that were difficult,
heartbreaking,
and wearing on my soul.

regardless of these things,
last year ended in many blessings.
for which i am thankful.
and 2009 will continue on the same route.

it will be the best year of my life!

2009 is already starting off better.
i don't have mono today!
instead i am healthy,
and my family is here,
and my brother weds in 2 days,
and i just creamed my uncles in texas hold em.

here's to living and loving in 2009!

the minivan

today i was reminded of the first time i drove a car alone.
my mom let me take the minivan to blockbuster.
man, i was so ready.
and i thought i was too cool.
i remember the fact that i didn't care that i was driving
a minivan.
i didn't care...i was driving...alone!
i was slightly scared,
but my excitement overpowered that.
and i did it.
i drove that movie back to blockbuster
and i drove all the way home.
and i even parked the van in the garage.
talk about an accomplishment!

i wonder,
why can't every stage in life be that easy?
where my terror is overcome by joy and excitement.
my fears washed out by anticipation of something good.

when i think about it,
my dreams do overcome my fear and doubt for the most part.
it's when i get to the edge of the diving board,
that i get scared.

and wish i felt like i did when i turned the ignition to the minivan.

christmas via me

what i got for christmas:

+ a wii [family present which we played practically all day]
+ little espresso cups from world market [adorable]
+ a pair of toms shoes [shout out: daniel]
+ a random board game [amusement to be determined]
+ the outliers by malcolm gladwell [holla!]
+ some christmas socks [thanks mom!]
+ some christmas pj's that are going back [sorry mom]
+ a lot of money [booyah]

said money will be put to good use.
[to be revealed at a later time]

during scripture-reading,
and present-opening,
and feast-having,
and movie-seeing,
and wii-playing,
during all of these things,
i thought of the many blessings in my life.

twas a lovely christmas indeed.

festivus

today is festivus!

if you don't know what festivus is,
watch more seinfeld.

also, today is christmas eve eve.
said goodbye to the office
and i am officially home for christmas.
almost everyone is here.
had chili for dinner [so good]
many gifts under the tree.

life is good.

it's a festivus for the rest of us!!!

my tv show

i'm convinced that my life
would make an awesome reality tv show.

characters on the show:
monica | hilarious, yet pensive girl who does weird things.
stephanie | lover of hip hop, hater of nothing.
jesse | may be mental, still awaiting test results
julie | sister-to-be and always up for shopping
+ at least 20 other riveting characters that
i am too lazy to list right now.
[i didn't realize how long the list would be
when i started typing this blog
and this did not appear to be the direction i was going.
oh well.]

anyway,
the camera crew would follow me around everywhere
[and stephanie would probably get her own crew
because she is such a entertaining character]
and it would mostly be me laughing,
driving around,
looking at christmas lights,
meeting friends for dinner,
and hanging with jesse, watching top chef.

and the camera would catch all of the bizarre things
that i experience on a daily basis.

i'm convinced this would make a great show.

experiment

i held a little experiment this evening.
and the results were quite interesting.
of course,
i shall not speak of them here.
but rather, in another place.
that you will see soon.

in other news,
the relient k christmas album
is surprisingly good.
quite unexpected.

and in even other news,
the holidays seem to be jaaaaam-packed.
plus a wedding.

i am so tired this week.