the minivan

today i was reminded of the first time i drove a car alone.
my mom let me take the minivan to blockbuster.
man, i was so ready.
and i thought i was too cool.
i remember the fact that i didn't care that i was driving
a minivan.
i didn't care...i was driving...alone!
i was slightly scared,
but my excitement overpowered that.
and i did it.
i drove that movie back to blockbuster
and i drove all the way home.
and i even parked the van in the garage.
talk about an accomplishment!

i wonder,
why can't every stage in life be that easy?
where my terror is overcome by joy and excitement.
my fears washed out by anticipation of something good.

when i think about it,
my dreams do overcome my fear and doubt for the most part.
it's when i get to the edge of the diving board,
that i get scared.

and wish i felt like i did when i turned the ignition to the minivan.

christmas via me

what i got for christmas:

+ a wii [family present which we played practically all day]
+ little espresso cups from world market [adorable]
+ a pair of toms shoes [shout out: daniel]
+ a random board game [amusement to be determined]
+ the outliers by malcolm gladwell [holla!]
+ some christmas socks [thanks mom!]
+ some christmas pj's that are going back [sorry mom]
+ a lot of money [booyah]

said money will be put to good use.
[to be revealed at a later time]

during scripture-reading,
and present-opening,
and feast-having,
and movie-seeing,
and wii-playing,
during all of these things,
i thought of the many blessings in my life.

twas a lovely christmas indeed.

festivus

today is festivus!

if you don't know what festivus is,
watch more seinfeld.

also, today is christmas eve eve.
said goodbye to the office
and i am officially home for christmas.
almost everyone is here.
had chili for dinner [so good]
many gifts under the tree.

life is good.

it's a festivus for the rest of us!!!

my tv show

i'm convinced that my life
would make an awesome reality tv show.

characters on the show:
monica | hilarious, yet pensive girl who does weird things.
stephanie | lover of hip hop, hater of nothing.
jesse | may be mental, still awaiting test results
julie | sister-to-be and always up for shopping
+ at least 20 other riveting characters that
i am too lazy to list right now.
[i didn't realize how long the list would be
when i started typing this blog
and this did not appear to be the direction i was going.
oh well.]

anyway,
the camera crew would follow me around everywhere
[and stephanie would probably get her own crew
because she is such a entertaining character]
and it would mostly be me laughing,
driving around,
looking at christmas lights,
meeting friends for dinner,
and hanging with jesse, watching top chef.

and the camera would catch all of the bizarre things
that i experience on a daily basis.

i'm convinced this would make a great show.

experiment

i held a little experiment this evening.
and the results were quite interesting.
of course,
i shall not speak of them here.
but rather, in another place.
that you will see soon.

in other news,
the relient k christmas album
is surprisingly good.
quite unexpected.

and in even other news,
the holidays seem to be jaaaaam-packed.
plus a wedding.

i am so tired this week.

coffee-water

saturday.
i grabbed my keys and headed to the bucks
[my first time in quite some time there]
honestly, just needed to get out of the house
because the cleaning lady was there
and i felt guilty for just sitting on my rear
drinking my mom's coffee-water
[she makes the weakest coffee possible.
so much so, that i call it coffee-water.]
while the cleaning lady works diligently
scrubbing my dirty bathroom that i,
apparently, cannot clean myself.

with no plans until five that evening,
i grabbed my keys and headed out the door,
wondering to myself what i would do with the day.
i had a few errands to run,
but they would certainly not take up the 7 hours
that i had to spare.
pulled up to starbucks and standing in line,
my sister-to-be sends me a message via text
to join her for lunch.
couldn't be more perfect timing.
i knew lunch would somehow turn into shopping
[and it did]
and then i could run my few errands,
grab a quick shower,
and scoot off to the bachelorette party
of all bachelorette parties.

all of this running through my brain
while my current obsession,
school of seven bells,
is singing in my radio.
the weather is perfect--sunny and cold.
i've got the whole day ahead of me.
life is good.
Lovers in Japan pops up
and i hit the open road.
i've talked about this before,
but when this happened,
i was so completely content with my life.
it was a good day.

life has brought me many smiles lately.

the victorian woman

thrown into the competition,
but not wanting to compete.
an image of victorian women continually popping
into my mind.
large bustles, tightly curled hair, and umbrellas with lace.
not caring the least bit for anything
but that.

foolishness appeared.

my anticipated ugliest
was rather the most lovely.
expectations violently switched.

however, perceptions changed.

the dreamer

i haven't been writing here very much lately...
don't worry, i'm not on a writing hiatus or anything.
actually, probably the opposite.
i find myself writing more than ever.
just in different places.
and about different things.

however,
when it is truly me,
i find myself always going back to the condition
of the human heart.
how we work.
how we are wired.
what makes us go.
why we do what we do.
my mind is always thinking of those things.

sleep is the only time i am away from my thoughts.
and even then, dreams occupy.
i want to be _____ and _______ and _____.
and it's because i'm like _____ and i do _____ and
i'm good at _______.


thank goodness for dreams.