oh dietrich...

ok, another dietrich bonhoeffer excerpt. sorry, it's just what i'm reading right now and it's so good!

"The first service that one owes to others in the fellowship consists in listening to them. Just as love to God begins with listening to his Word, so the beginning of love for the brethren is learning to listen to them. [...] He who can no longer listen to his brother will soon be no longer listening to God either; he will be doing nothing but prattle in the presence of God too. This is the beginning of the death of the spiritual life, and in the end there is nothing left but spiritual chatter and clerical condescension arrayed in pious words."

i have a serious problem with this. i dont think it's to the point of meaningless chatter arrayed in pious words, because i believe i'm genuine. but sometimes i just cant shut my mouth. i feel this need to fix things, to take on the burden as my own instead of handing it over to God.

"Christians, especially ministers, so often think they must always contribute something when they are in the company of others, that this is the one service they have to render. They forget that listening can be a greater service than speaking."

it makes perfect sense. because we live in a fallen world, we're constantly seeking to gratify ourselves. someone comes to us with a problem (really just needing for us to listen as they talk) and we think that we have to solve it. we wont feel good about ourselves, we wont feel satisfied unless we solve the problem, or atleast guide this person along. we feel unaccomplished if all we did was listen to them. it's such a selfish thing and i see myself doing it on a regular basis. sometimes i just need to listen, and be there. there are so many times when i've felt like i just wanted someone to listen, and they tried to solve the problem only making me more upset. sometimes i feel like "giving advice" (which is probably not at all close to what i'm doing) is the only thing i have to offer. just listening is a reminder that i'm not perfect and i dont have the answer, which is an even harder reality to understand. i forget that listening is one of the greatest services i can give. even if it means i wont feel good about myself afterwards. i fear that my meaningless chatter with a person will soon become my meaningless chatter with God. i dont want to be one of those people who drops "pious" words left and right. you can see right through them and you can see their selfishness and insecurity. i choose to listen more. in choosing to listen more, i'm choosing to be more like Christ, which is the original goal, right?